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Why We Need an Internal Filter

Updated: Oct 1, 2020

Putting a filter on your computer or other device to keep pornography out will only do so much good. Messages about intimacy and sex are everywhere and nearly impossible to avoid. Internal filters are much more successful when protecting against unhealthy ideas and depictions of intimacy and sex.

There is no way to avoid the messages about intimacy or even pornography anymore. All of the internet filters, and barriers will not keep people safe from constant false messages. Inappropriate pictures, videos, and language about sex and intimacy are constantly on social media, commercials, movies, and t.v. shows. The only filter that will ultimately protect is an internal one. A healthy view of sexuality will unveil pornography as the illusion of intimacy that it is. If time isn't taken to acknowledge this illusion, pornography's depiction of sex can become very real to us.



Blake & Carly:

*names have been changed to protect privacy.


Blake, a 16 year old from California, first ran into pornography when he was 10 years old. One of his friends talked about sex at school and Blake looked it up on google out of curiosity. The video he ran into sparked feelings he had never encountered before. He continued to go back day after day, week after week. He slowly progressed to more perverted types of pornography (see perversions of pornography chart here). This was Blake's first exposure to sex, although his parents did talk about it with him once. The conversation consisted of telling him that sex is how babies were made, but this video was so much more interesting than that one conversation from his parents.  As Blake got older he sought more and more perverted types of pornography till he was consistently watching bondage pornography. Then one day Blake met Carly. She was beautiful and fun. Their relationship progressed and eventually became physical. One day when Blake and Carly were being physical Blake started to force Carly to do sexual things with him. She was begging him to stop, yet in porn when a girl says stop, she doesn't mean it. Constantly in pornography women respond to violence with pleasure.


Now Blake is in a juvenile detention center for raping this young girl, when he thought that he was doing things she wanted. That's what he had seen in pornography. Pornography had altered Blake's view of sex and intimacy, and now he suffered the rough consequences of his actions. Evaluate your own view of sex and intimacy. Battle illusions of intimacy and the appeal of pornography by controlling thoughts, and actively thinking about sexuality in a positive way. Doing this day after day character will change. Individuals will be seen as humans to connect with and not objects to be used. Confidence will increase as character changes, and shame will fade and communication will be open when discussing the importance of healthy intimacy. With an internal filter that views humans as humans, deeper connections can be made and relationships will be strengthened.


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