As parents, the thought of our kids encountering pornography can be deeply unsettling. How do we protect them from the harmful impacts of explicit sexual content while also equipping them with a healthy, godly perspective on sexuality? In this podcast episode, Brigham Elton and Andrea Rose tackle this critical issue head-on. The key, they argue, lies in recognizing and leveraging the "pre-exposure" moments that happen every day.

What are Pre-Exposure Moments? Pre-exposure moments are the everyday situations where kids encounter sexual themes or content, even if it's not outright pornography. This could be seeing animal anatomy, observing breastfeeding, or encountering suggestive ads or media. While these moments may seem small, Brigham explains that they provide a crucial opportunity for parents to shape their child's perspective. "Children are being exposed to sexual information before they have a moment that goes 'whoa' for them, that feels like a pornographic moment," he says. "If we can help them learn how to handle those moments, then when they get to this moment that's bigger, they have...this belief that, like, 'I can do it.'

Processing Pre-Exposure Moments Together The key, Brigham and Andrea emphasize, is to process these pre-exposure moments together as a family. This means openly sharing your own thoughts, feelings, and values, rather than just trying to shield your kids from the content. "It's super important...when we talk about preparing our kids for these pre-exposure moments, is preparing us for their pre-exposure moments," Andrea explains. "So much of it comes from this desire to protect, this fear that it's dangerous, it's evil." By acknowledging and working through those fears as parents, you can model a healthier approach for your kids. Brigham suggests simply naming what you see and how you feel about it: "I see a mom breastfeeding. Isn't that amazing?" or "Those mannequins aren't wearing any clothes. I don't really like that."

Emotional Pre-Exposure Moments The discussion also highlights the importance of addressing emotional pre-exposure moments, like the romantic build-up in a movie. Brigham explains that these can evoke an "almost sexual experience" for kids, as they process the tension and release. Again, the solution is to talk it through. You might say, "That kiss seemed like a really big moment for them. I wonder how sex will change their relationship?" This allows you to share your values and guide their understanding.
Preparing Older Kids As children get older, Brigham recommends actively teaching them the process of analyzing and responding to sexual content. This could involve watching a movie sex scene together and discussing what's realistic versus romanticized. The goal is to empower kids to think critically about what they're seeing, rather than just reacting with fear or shame. "If you demonstrate it, your kid will be doing it way before you teach it to them," Brigham notes. "When you teach it to them, that's helpful, because then they can get better at kick-starting their own processing." Ultimately, the key is to embrace these pre-exposure moments, not avoid them. By processing them together, you can build your child's resilience and equip them with a healthy, godly perspective on sexuality. It's not easy, but it's a crucial investment in their future.
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